It's Not Worth Dying For
by hatchling
Summary: Green Day's 21 Guns and Draco Malfoy's thoughts about the last battle. Spoilers maybe, though confusing ones if you haven't read Deathly Hallows. Rated to be safe. R&R!


**Disclaimer: **Song is 21 Guns, and it belongs to Green Day. Characters are all from Harry Potter and belong to JK Rowling. So I own nothing.

**A/N:** I just somehow heard Draco Malfoy's story from 21 Guns, and this came out of my head as the result. That's how I see it, I'm not sure how well I managed to write it though. This doesn't make much sense if you haven't read Deathly Hallows... I actually had another ending for this, to fit the lyrics better. Should I post it as the second chapter?

Please, review!

.........

**Do you know what's worth fighting for when it's not worth dying for?  
****Does it take your breath away and you feel yourself suffocating?**

Draco didn't know anymore. He didn't understand the reason for what he had done, why did he let the Death Eaters to the school? Why did he ever stand in front of Dumbledore, pointing his wand at him?

For confidence? For acceptance? For someone's respect or for he was a coward and afraid for his own life?

Yes. All of the above.

Was it worth it?

No.

**Does the pain weight out the pride and you look for a place to hide?  
****Did someone break your heart inside, you're in ruins.**

Draco ran along the hallways of Hogwarts, without even trying to hide his tears. This was not what he had wanted. Now he wanted to find his parents. He wanted to find Potter, to tell him he was sorry. He had never meant for this to happen.

Draco had been tortured near insanity for failing to kill Dumbledore and that was when he started to wake to reality.

What kind of a wizard would do something like that?

Voldemort would. And did.

**When you're at the end of the road and you've lost all sense of control.  
****And your thoughts have taken their toll, when your mind breaks the spirit of your soul. **

Draco couldn't believe it. This was the end - end of it all.

Potter was dead.

It meant everything was lost. Draco collapsed on his knees and stared at the body of the boy, who had been the only one able to even dream of defeating Voldemort.

Draco had once thought that when Voldemort won, everything would be fine. His family would remain powerful as ever and be rewarded for standing behind their master.

When he had realized everyone around Voldemort suffered and he would never reward anyone, he had trusted Potter. He had trusted Potter to win and then everything would've been fine. Even if it meant he would be sent to Azkaban for the rest of his life, he preferred it over being a Death Eater.

But Potter was dead.

**Your faith walks on broken glass and the hangover doesn't pass.  
****Nothing's ever built to last, you're in ruins.**

Now Draco didn't care about his envy towards Potter anymore. It wasn't about him anymore, now he realized it. It wasn't about him.

Guilt and shame washed over him like waves of a raging ocean. He knew he would never get fully rid of them, no matter what happened. This was his fault.

He watched as Longbottom attacked the huge snake and killed her. Longbottom was brave. Draco was - or had been at least - a coward. He knew it and admitted it now. But he wasn't just as selfish as everyone thought he was; Now what he wished was to see his family alive and well.

He wanted this to end. He'd give his life just to end the battle, kill the Dark Lord. But there was nothing he could've done anymore.

Then Potter was there. Then there was hope again.

**Did you try to live on your own, when you burned down the house and home?  
****Did you stand too close to the fire, like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?**

It was over now.

Draco was running again, among the happy mass of witches and wizards, to finally find his parents.

Instead, he found Potter. And said he was sorry.

He had been alone, when Potter had his friends who he knew would never leave him, no matter what. There were people to support Potter.

Draco never had a real friend by his side.

How he had envied Potter for that.

Joining the Death Eaters had been his only, natural choice. Now when everything was more clear, he asked for forgiveness.

And Potter, pushing aside all the fights between them and the whole seven-year rivalry, gave it to him.

**When it's time to live and let die, when you can't get another try,  
****Something inside this heart has died, you're in ruins.**

Draco found then at last. They were still looking for him, his mother in tears and his father more anguished than he had ever seen before.

Her mother cried for happiness when they were reunited. They were all alive. And forgiven by the Boy Who Lives. Their days of anxiety and fear were over.

Only his godfather was dead.

But he knew he had died doing the right thing. He had somehow known it all along, known who Snape was loyal to. He just had never brought it up.

He looked over his shoulder and saw Potter with Weasley and Granger, and saw him offer a feint smile. He returned that smile and let his mother hug him.

People died in that battle.

But for Draco, it was in a way the beginning of his life.

No more fear.

**One, 21 guns,  
****Lay down your arms, give up the fight.  
****One, 21 guns,  
****Throw up your arms, into the sky,  
****You and I. **


End file.
